There is a saying in Arizona that the state has only two seasons: winter and hell. I guess it’s no longer winter. I made a mistake on Friday. I went barefoot to the curb to bring in the empty trash barrel. It’s not that far, but I was soon skipping on my toes in a vain attempt to remain airborne. Here are a few one-liners to make you grateful you live in New Jersey.
It's so hot in Arizona that...
· you burn your hand opening the car door.
· seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
· it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
· the best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.
· farmers feed chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
· trees whistle for the dogs.
· hot water comes out of both taps.
· it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
· you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.